Moana Hope’s postpartum depression battle had her ready to leave her family three times
"I just had moments where I felt like I'm not good enough to be a mum. I need to leave..."
Unconfirmed rumours abound that one of Australia’s favourite couples, Survivor Allstar Moana Hope and her model wife Isabella Carlstrom have split. While neither party has addressed the chatter, the AFLW player has removed all mentions of her wife from her Instagram bio.
Amid the speculation, an interview, recorded just weeks ago, has been gaining attention as the couple revealed the problems that existed within their union since Moana welcomed their second child, son Ahi, in June, 22.
The podcast, recorded with with Dr Golly and the Experts, the 35yo star revealed the extent her battle with postpartum depression, and the irrational thoughts that it entailed, impacted her family.
Moana Hope is opening up about her experience with postpartum depression since welcoming her son Ahi in June last year.
The Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE) says unlike the baby blues, which passes on its own, postnatal depression can be long-lasting and affect your ability to cope with a new baby.
Like Moana, other celebrities like Kylie Jenner and Chrissy Teigen have opened up about their own experience with the condition in order to normalise it.
“I just had moments where I felt like I’m not good enough to be [the children’s] mum. I need to leave. It was about three occasions all up,” Moana admitted.
“I almost got in a car and drove away because I just felt like I wasn’t going to be a good enough mum for [Ahi]. It was fear.”
For Moana, the onset of postpartum depression triggered “anxiety” and “childhood trauma”. The retired athlete revealed that she had been “physically abused” throughout “a large portion of my childhood”, something she never wanted to inflict on her own family.
“My anxiety got so bad that I thought I was going to wake up and inherit [the abuser’s] anger. So I always thought, ‘I don’t want to be around my kids if I turn into [that]'”.
Moana Hope has said that childbirth left her “empty to life”.
A traumatic birth
On the podcast, Isabella revealed she suspected Moana’s childhood trauma would be “triggered’ by the “trauma” of giving birth, something Moana has previously addressed.
Months after Ahi’s birth, Moana started to share the details of her son’s birth.
In a podcast with Steph Smith, the AFLW star revealed that when Ahi was placed on her chest, after 24 hours of labour, he wasn’t breathing and she immediately knew something was wrong.
“I didn’t even try to embrace him or enjoy it, I just like ‘Fix it!’” she told the host. “I was looking over at them, working on him at the table. Then I was watching Bell, and Bell was crying.”
“I was on a bed, in stirrups, completely naked. Cut, blood everywhere. But all I could think about in that moment was, save him”.
Moana went on to say that once she knew he was ok, she was completely overwhelmed and asked Bell to take him as she was “empty to life”.
When Jess Rowe asked Moana on ‘The Jess Rowe Big Talk Show‘ if when she was talking about “postpartum” she meant the time after giving birth or postnatal depression, the media personality responded “Yeah, I’d say post-natal depression.”
Years ago, Jess opened up about her own expriences with PND, which paved the way for other women to share their stories. Moana told Jess “It was why I reached out to my psychiatrist, because I wanted to be sure that mentally I was getting that support.
“My birth, for me, was very traumatic. It was really something that I cried for days about.”
“I would do it again, and again and again and again if it meant I got him,” she told KICBump.
Rumours of a split surround Mona Hope and Isabella Carlstrom’s marriage.
Moana and Isabella tied the knot in 2019. Isabella carried and gave birth to their daughter Svea in November 2020, while Moana carried and delivered son Ahi in June 2022. Both children were conceived via IVF at Monash.
The podcast was released on Wednesday 3 May, amid the circulating rumours that the couple’s seemingly happy union had come to an end.
While Moana’s Instagram bio had previously contained a mention of her wife, it now reads as an emoji of a single woman and two children.
Neither party has confirmed, nor denied the split.
Neither party has confirmed nor denied the split.
Helpful tips for partners supporting someone with postpartum depression
1. According to PANDA (Post and Antenatal Depression Association), it is important for partners to be included in discussions with health professionals treating someone with postnatal depression.
“Partners are much more supportive if they understand what the problem is and what they can do to help,” PANDA says.
2. Set aside some time for you and your partner to relax. Having a new baby is a stressful time and you need some downtime.
3. Make sure your partner exercises regularly. Going for walks as a family and ensuring they are healthy is important. Exercise releases endorphins so it can improve mental health.
4. Encourage your partner to join a baby group, playgroup or mother’s group so they can interact with other parents.
Anyone having trouble coping with pregnancy or post childbirth can visit www.panda.org.au or call the PANDA Helpline on 1300 726 306 Mon to Fri, 9am – 7.30pm AEST/AEDT.
