How to teach small children to share

When Prince George was just a baby, he did what comes naturally for a child of his age when he snatched another child’s toy on royal visit to New Zealand in 2014. As big brother to Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis, he will have come a long way since this incident.

While it is generally accepted that teaching children to share as they grow is a positive step, it is hard for children to understand that they can’t have everything they want, when they want it.

Take a look at 10 tips to help you little one understand how and why it’s important to learn to share.

Tips to help kids learn to share

1. Plan ahead for play dates

When a friend is coming to your house to play, ask their parent to pack a couple of toys for their child to share with yours.

2. Encourage communication

If another child wants to play with something belonging to your child, which they don’t want to share, instead of just saying “No” encourage them to explain why they need the toy – perhaps it is new, broken or a favourite – or to suggest another one.

3. It’s OK to have special toys

Let children know they don’t have to share all their toys. Ask them to choose a few special things to put aside when friends come over that stay out of sight until the play date is over.

4. Wait their turn

A good basic rule is to teach children to ask for things they want to play with rather than just taking them and then to wait their turn. This teaches fairness, too. If the children really can’t wait, use a timer that allows each child time equal with the toy.

5. Explain expectations in advance

Explain that if a friend is coming to play, there is an expectation that they will want to play with their toys. If they aren’t going to share, ask them what they will play with and why have the friend come over at all? Remind your child they can play with the toy alone when they are alone and that their friend will not be taking the toys home.

6. Use toys for shared play

Encourage the use of toys and games that are more fun if played with more than one person – cards, Lego, puzzles, crafts for example. Try and get the kids to work together at building a tower, organising a Top Trumps game or creating a picture.

7. Let them figure it out

Where possible, try and let the children work out sharing issues themselves. If you intervene every time voices are raised, they will never learn how to sort out these problems on their own.

8. Offer praise when they share

Make a point of noticing and praising kids when sharing is happening.

9. Be a good role model

Children learn almost everything by example so make sure they see you sharing with your friends and family, too.

10. Help them understand

Remind your kids that if they don’t share with others, no one will share with them either.