On the heartbreaking one-year anniversary of her mum’s death, 16yo Maddie shares how she has coped
"I would sit by the front door hoping she would walk through"
Hi, my name is Maddie and I am 16 years old. I became a motherless daughter on the 19th October, 2019 when mum sadly passed away to cancer. Mum was such a loving, caring person who always put others before herself. I looked up to mum as a role model but most of all she was my best friend.
When mum was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer (primary bowel cancer) my world turned upside down. Seeing mum so sick was one of the hardest parts. Not being able to help her made me feel helpless.
I remember getting the phone call to say that we need to get back to the hospital, that she was showing the signs of her last hours, minutes.
Arriving at the hospital my head was in a whirlwind. Dad gave my younger brother and I a choice to go in and say our last goodbyes. I said. “yes”. I wanted the chance to give her a kiss that she would feel and then hear the “I love you”, one last time.
My mum’s side of the family refused to let me into the room. The next minute she was gone. My mum was gone. I felt emptiness inside of me.
Maddie lost her mum, who she called her “best friend” to cancer in October 2019.
As the months went on, I would sit by the front door hoping she would walk through the door, I picked up my phone thinking there would be a message from her, but there never is.
I would deny that mum was gone and that she would come back, but then I remember that she is gone.
I would sit in my room thinking about the day I graduated from school, the day I get my first boyfriend, the day I have my first breakup, the day I get married, the day I have my first child.
All of the milestones a woman would usually have her mum’s support for, except I never will.
Maddie said not being able to help her mum made her feel helpless.
When I joined not for profit organisation, Motherless Daughters Australia (MDA), they welcomed me with open arms and hearts.
Connecting in with other women that have experienced the same mother loss as me, has helped a lot with my grief. I feel I am not alone anymore and even though each one of us has different situations, the thing that stays the same is that we are motherless. Being part of this group and knowing that they will have my back all the way, I can keep living my life knowing that I am supported no matter what.
I will be forever grateful for MDA and everything they are doing to connect and support women like me with each other and supporting us through our lives without our mothers.
Motherless Daughters Australia is a not for profit organisation that represents, informs, supports and connects women and girls whose mothers have died, to help navigate the everyday and life’s key milestones without the support of their mothers.
MDA offers a number of key support services such a on online support group, children’s initiatives, fact sheets and face to face opportunities for women to connect.
