“Say ‘no’ to comparison” – Ash London’s lessons from the first six months as a mum

By Ash London

I am only six months into this wild and wonderful ride that is parenthood. While part of me feels like I could write a novel of lessons learned in this short time frame, another part feels like I’m still on day one, and I have no idea what on earth I’m doing.  Therein lies one of the many beauties of being a mama – that two seemingly opposite things can be true at once.

I love my baby boy Buddy more than anything in the world, but my god, sometimes I just wish I could hand him over to someone else for two hours so I can have some peace! I sometimes countdown til naptime, then miss him as soon as he closes his eyes, and want him to wake up again. Breastfeeding is a truly magical experience, but it’s also exhausting and I often dread having to do it.

It’s one big paradox. Conflicting thoughts, hormones, emotions. A big old beautiful mess.

One thing I know to be true is that as mamas and primary caregivers, we are so often way too hard on ourselves. We feel like we need to do it all. Be the best. Give our kids the best of everything – and even give them the best of ourselves, often leaving nothing in the tank for us. This is something I’m actively trying to work against in my own journey as a mama. How can I keep my own happiness and sense of identity (and sanity) in one piece, while still being the best mum I can be?

I’m no expert – but here are some things I’ve had to learn to say yes (and no) to as a new parent….

Say ‘no’ to comparison

Our kids are their own selves. They’re on their own schedule. There is no ‘one size fits all’ standard of measurement by which we need to hold them captive. So what if Sally’s kid is a month younger than yours and is already rolling over? That says NOTHING about your ability to parent, or your baby’s abilities.  Run your own race.  Let Bubba run their own race. And remember – most people are lying when they say their baby is sleeping through the night.

Say ‘yes’ to outsourcing

Is your time better spent on the couch having cuddles or making organic bone broth? If a trip to the supermarket fills you with absolute dread, is it worth forcing yourself to do it? What things in your life can you outsource to a third party that are going to mean you’ve got more time to yourself? I did this with my meals during my postpartum period and it took SUCH a weight off my shoulders knowing that cooking wasn’t another thing I had to put on the to-do list.

MACROS meals (I opted for a mix of the balanced plan and family plan so we almost always had leftovers to work with), are perfect for making sure you’re getting all the nutrients your body needs to keep you and bub going. All without the hassle of preparing ingredients and cleaning up – we have enough of that to do as is – these dietitian-approved meals are delivered straight to your doorstep like magic

Say ‘no’ to unsolicited advice

Just because somebody tells you that their way worked for them, does not mean it will work for you!  Just because someone has three children, doesn’t mean they know how to parent your one baby better than you. This counts for strangers on the internet, friends and family members, anyone. It’s a blanket rule. You’re allowed to ignore other people’s well intentioned advice and instead trust your own instincts when it comes to your baby.

Say ‘yes’ to accepting help

I am not great at this in general, but motherhood has been one big lesson in swallowing my pride and admitting that I can’t get it all done, and I can’t get it all right. You created a human. You are already a hero! Whether this be from a parent, friend or trusted neighbour, or even in the form of support groups or meal delivery services, accept help in whatever form it is offered and let yourself off the hook!

The biggest piece of advice I can give to any new parent, is to not be so hard on yourself, and take it one day at a time! We are all just trying to do what’s best for our little ones and deserve to be recognised for all the hard and messy work that comes with that.

Ash London is an ambassador for MACROS.