Tips to solve common parenting issues
From parenting expert Dr Michael Herd of Triple P
As our children grow and develop, parents are almost daily faced with new experiences, issues and challenges from tantrums and cooperation to anxiety and screentime, which can be hard to know how to manage.
Here, Dr Michael Herd, psychologist and trainer at Triple P International with more than 30 years’ experience working with families, shares tips on how to manage these most common of parenting issues that we all face at one time or another.
You can watch Dr Herd’s video above.
Tips to solve common parenting issues
Tantrums are common in toddlers and some older children
What to do when children tantrum
When your sweet little angel seems to turn into a little monster, it can be hard to make sense of it and to not take things personally. Dr Herd has worked with parents and families for more than 30 years and reassures that it’s easier to respond to tantrums when we understand what they are.
“Tantrums are normal for toddlers and for some older children, and they’re an important part of healthy child development,” says Dr Herd. “It can take some time for children to learn to manage challenging emotions and they will also be more like to tantrum when they’re tired, sick, hungry or frustrated…”
A child having a tantrum has unmet needs and are likely confused by their own emotions. They need their parent or carer to stay calm and help them settle.
“To give children the best chance to learn to manage these emotions it’s best for us to have a calm response,” he says.
Encouraging cooperation in pre-schoolers
Your once happy-go-lucky and compliant child no longer wants to do anything you ask… It’s a phase, don’t worry!
“Children typically will be more cooperative when we have a good relationship with them,” says Dr Herd. “Spending time with children is an important part of building that relationship.”
Quality time can be hard to come by in this busy world – especially if you have more than one child – however, Dr Herd assures us that the strong relationships can be built on interactions as short as 15 or 30 seconds.
“When a child approaches us to ask us something, and when we stop what we’re doing and respond, we’re sending a really important relationship message: We’re available,” he says. “And being available is a really important part of relationship building and, in turn, encouraging cooperation.”
A good relationship with a child may help increase cooperation
How can parents help manage anxiety in children
Acknowledging and understanding anxiety has increased over time and there are many and varied reasons that children get anxious. COVID lockdowns undoubtedly had an impact, with children unable to start or go to school, increasing the reliance on parents and carers and reducing social interactions outside of the home.
“An important part of helping our children learn how to manage anxiety is to help them recognise and express feelings,” Dr Herd explains. He goes on to say that when you notice your child is upset, think about these four steps:
- Ask them how they’re going
- Listen to what they say
- Summarise what you’ve heard to reinforce that you have listened and understood
- Try to name the emotion to help them recognise their own feelings.
How to manage screentime
Screens are an everyday part of our lives and it’s increasingly difficult for parents and carers to stay on top of this issue. Dr Herd says that disagreements over screens can lead to family conflict and by managing expectations kids may learn to monitor their own use in the longer term.
Here are Dr Herd’s five tips to manage expectations around screentime:
- Be a good role model help. Monitor your own use of screens.
- Have clear rules and limits. Agree on the amount of time, and when and where screens are ok.
- Be a technology smart parent. Be familiar with the apps your children are using and whether they are age appropriate.
- Put away devices at mealtime and encourage conversation.
- Avoid screens around bedtime.
For more information about Triple P’s range of parenting programs, go to Triple P.
Brought to you by Triple P
