Raising kids in a digital world: Expert tips for parents
Parenting in the age of screens? Dr Jo Orlando shares her secrets for raising kids in a digital world.
Parenting in the digital age can feel like a never-ending game of catch-up. Just when you think you’ve got the latest app or trend figured out, something new pops up… and the rules change again.
It’s no wonder 89 per cent of parents say managing their child’s digital life is harder than any other parenting challenge but help is here.
We spoke with Australia’s leading digital wellbeing expert, Dr Jo Orlando, whose new book Generation Connected: How to Parent in a Digital World – at Every Age and Stage is filled with practical tips and reassurance to guide parents from toddlers’ first taps on a screen right through to teens navigating social media.
Dr Jo Orlando’s tips for raising kids in a digital world
Build healthy tech habits
According to Dr Jo, the best place to begin is by shifting your mindset. “We don’t have to choose between keeping our kids safe online and preparing them for a digital future, they need both,” she says.
She suggests focusing on three key areas equally:
- Screen time: How much time they spend on devices.
- Screen quality: Teaching kids that not all screen time is equal. Help them spot content that helps them learn and grow versus content that just fills time.
- Safety: Proactively teach them how to stay safe online.
“By paying attention to all three, you create a more manageable and holistic approach,” Dr Jo explains.
Set age-appropriate boundaries
Toddlers
Toddlers form habits fast, sometimes after only two or three repeats. Dr Jo warns against using devices as a “digital pacifier”.
“It’s tempting to hand them a screen to calm them in a stroller or at a restaurant, but this builds a habit of relying on screens to soothe boredom or frustration,” she says.
Instead, build screen time into a predictable part of the day and avoid making it the default solution.
Tweens
Dr Jo’s go-to tip for this age group? The “Tech Sandwich” to ease after-school meltdowns:
- Top Slice (Connection): Spend 5 minutes connecting without screens, a snack, a chat about their day, or showing them a funny video. This helps to reset their brain and they’ll go into the screen use calmer.
- Filling (Intentional Tech): Then, allow screen time for a specific, positive purpose (like an educational app or creative game), using a timer so they know when time is up.
- Bottom Slice (Calm Transition): Guide them into a calm activity afterwards like reading or helping with dinner. This turns tech into part of life, not the main event.
Teens
With teens, the focus shifts from control to coaching. “Our goal as parents is to help them learn to make good decisions independently,” Dr Jo says.
This means open conversations about balancing screen time with other responsibilities and trusting them with more autonomy while staying connected.
Talk about cyberbullying without scaring them
Dr Jo stresses the importance of being a safe ally, not a judge. This foundation starts well before a problem arises.
- Start early: Begin conversations about fair and unfair treatment as soon as your child plays with friends. Make chats about online life a normal, ongoing part of your routine.
- Create a safe space: If your only comments about screens are negative, your child may not confide in you when something goes wrong. Show interest without criticism to build trust.
- Lead with support: Let them know you’re there to help, not punish. Reassure them your priority will always be to support and solve the problem together.
Everyday “tech wins” to aim for
- Stop treating all screen time the same: Acknowledge the difference between passive scrolling and creative or social screen use, and adjust time they can participate in them. This prevents unnecessary arguments, like I need to do my homework as opposed to I want to watch this Youtube.
- Notice the small wins: Actively praise your child when they turn off a game without a fight or use tech to learn something new. This positive reinforcement is more effective than just pointing out the negatives.
- Avoid double standards: Kids notice if we tell them “no phones after 7pm” while we scroll on our own. Strive for consistency. If you slip up, be transparent about your own struggles with tech habits, this models self-awareness and makes it a team effort.
Support teens and social media
If your teen is already feeling the mental health effects of social media, shift the focus from what they’re watching to how it makes them feel.
- Have open, judgment-free conversations: Instead of criticising, show genuine interest. Ask, “Can you show me how that app works?” to start a dialogue.
- Look for red flags: Pay more attention to changes in mood, school performance, or social withdrawal than the clock. These are bigger indicators of a problem than screen time alone.
- Promote offline interests: The healthiest tech balances are found in families that actively prioritise offline activities like sports, art, or simply spending time with friends in person. Help them build an identity beyond the screen.
