Life with a newborn: Practical advice to ease the most common fears for new parents

Mums and dads everywhere can testify to the fact that becoming a parent can be equally joyful and exciting on one hand and terrifying and frustrating on the other.

The health and safety of your newborn becomes your number one priority so you typically start asking yourself, ‘Aam I doing this right?’, ‘Why won’t he stop crying’, ‘Is she too warm?’.

The good news is, these worries are completely normal and there are practical ways you can deal with these challenges.

Cubo Ai’s co-founder Joanna Lin breaks down some of the most common new parent worries and how to manage them, so you can ride the parenting rollercoaster with as little bumps as possible.

Stressed about SIDS

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, also known as SIDS or ‘cot death’, is the unexpected death of a baby, under the age of one.

Whilst incredibly rare, professionals still can’t pinpoint the cause of many SIDS cases, amplifying parental anxiety and disturbed sleep for many.

There are, however, steps that parents can take to minimise the chances of SIDS and that involves creating a safe sleep environment.

While creating an aesthetically pleasing nursery is half the fun of being a new parent, baby sleep safety is non-negotiable and triumphs over style.

Firstly, temperature is crucial. Experts say the sweet spot is around 16-20°C and anything too hot may increase the risk of SIDS.

Factors such as seasonal change, household thermal heating and blankets or pillows can push this temperature into a danger zone.

Lean on scientific, expert recommendations when it comes to alternative sleeping arrangements such as co-sleeping or bed-sharing. It can be tempting for new parents to rely on parenting forums or insights from loved ones to calm their worries, but seeking out evidence-based advice must accompany decision-making.

Other factors like removing hats/beanies, placing your baby on its back and using sleeping bags/swaddles are important. This can all be overwhelming as a new parent, so it’s a good idea to invest in a smart baby monitor.

Cubo Ai’s Smart Baby Monitor offers peace of mind for many new parents; sending you alerts if your baby’s face is covered or if they have rolled over, as well as scanning the room’s temperature around the clock. Creating an environment that promotes safe habits all night long will help the whole family sleep like a baby.

When your baby cries

Some babies cry more than others – no doubt adding to the already fragile state of tired, new parents.

However, very rarely should this set off the alarm bells. ‘Colic’ is a term that describes babies with a persistent sob; however even then, is not typically a major cause for concern.

Frantically comparing newborn crying levels with past children, or anxiously keeping track of the frequency of your baby’s sobs will only intensify your stress (and your babies). Every baby is different.

After all, new mothers in particular have increased levels of oxytocin in their system, which heightens their sensitivity to hearing their baby cry.

New parents should familiarise themselves with the reasons for excessive newborn crying – such as hunger, discomfort or tiredness – and keep calm whilst responding to their needs.

Can I do anything right? Doubting your parenting ability 

Often, new parents face a push-pull conflict of intuition and comparison. They may sometimes be guided by an innate ‘gut feeling’, and other times fall into the new parent comparison trap; doubting the choices they first felt confident in.

Taking care of your mental health as a parent is crucial to withstand the spiral into anxious, obsessive thoughts of inadequacy.

The easiest way to do so is through the saviour of sleep. After all, various studies reveal the physical and mental impact of disrupted sleep, on both fathers and mothers.

Maximising sleep throughout the first year of parenthood is no easy feat.  However, there are tried and tested strategies to aid in some much needed shut-eye.

Try to sleep (or at least rest) when your baby dozes off, introduce sleep shifts with your partner and reject feelings of guilt by letting your baby ‘cry out’ or sleep in a separate room.

Remember, you’re not selfish or a ‘bad parent’ for seeking more sleep or help in general. Say yes to meals from friends, join support groups with other mothers and talk to family about how you’re feeling. Your mind (and child) will thank you for it.

Worries are a normal part of becoming a new parent. With so many highs and lows along the way, it’s important to not let common concerns overtake the joy and love your newborn will bring.

Remember that parenting is in fact a journey, and you’ll constantly learn along the way.