REAL LIFE: “Every day I worry about my son with ADHD and anxiety. But there is hope.”

(Image: Supplied)

“I hate it so much that some days I can’t breathe properly.“

I wake up and I worry about what will happen that morning. What will Jimmy’s mood be like – will he be angry, sad, excited, distracted, happy or frustrated.

What will be accidentally broken, damaged and fought over before we’ve left the house because he’s unable to sit still. How many times will I need to repeat myself to break through his racing thoughts.

Then the medication kicks in and a new set of worries take over. What is this doing to him in the long term? Is he still developing and learning the right things while medicated? Will he be able to make good choices when he’s older? Am I doing the right thing – a question I ask myself on repeat.

I do what I can to manage his mental health at home. Research, meditation, calm corner with bean bags and heavy teddies, lots of sport, cooking, family time and yoga. But there’s a limit to what I can do. I’m a mum – not a psychologist. We live in a small rural town with no mental health support for children, so it’s up to me or we travel long distances for help.

I know I’m not alone with these worries. There are tens of thousands of other families facing similar struggles, carrying the burden of responsibility.

Cindy’s son Jimmy has ADHD and anxiety but he is “so much more than his diagnosis”. *(Image: Supplied)*

As a parent, I hate it. I hate it so much that some days I can’t breathe properly. Is this all there is for a child with mental ill health? Struggle through the days with just medication to fall back on. Jimmy receives lots of discipline as we alternate between wrangling him into action or calming him down. It can’t be good for his self-esteem to be immersed in negativity all the time. Opportunities for praise are few and far between. And what impact does this all have on his older brother?

Home from school and the come down from the medication feels like punishment for having used it. He’s hungry and angry because the meds suppress his appetite, he’s argumentative, in pain and is filled with sadness. The tears flow freely – often from us both. He’s impossible to reason with and can’t sit still. I finally get him to eat and he morphs into an eating machine. He can’t seem to stop. I worry about how much food he’s consuming before bed – will this impact his ability to sleep?

Finally, bedtime and I can see an end point. Lots of cuddles and I lie with him until he falls asleep. I used to worry about creating a co-sleeping monster but now I just need to make the day end. I worry instead about what the night ahead will hold for us.

Cindy and her husband are parents to 9yo Jimmy and his 11yo brother. *(Image: Supplied)*

There’s so much good in Jimmy. He is a kind and loving child who thrives on sport and loves the outdoors. He is so much more than his diagnosis. It’s just one part of him – just as it is for many other children with mental ill health. But without proper support what will their lives look like in the long term? As someone who works with adults battling substance abuse and criminal offenses, I have a front row seat to what the future often holds when mental health challenges go unsupported in childhood. Good reason to worry.

But there is hope. A federal Children’s Minister could be a game-changer. Someone who can champion kids in a way that parents can’t, to give the right attention and funding so our kids are prepared to manage the challenges ahead. Someone who will give our kids the best chance of success at life and take the pressure off ill equipped – albeit well meaning – caregivers. And maybe then I can stop worrying.

Cindy and her husband have two young boys (11yrs and 9yrs) and live in Koondrook, Victoria.

Smiling Mind is asking all Australians to sign the petition calling for Australia’s first Children’s Minister to turn the childhood mental health crisis around and provide much needed support to families.