Surviving Year 12: Self-care tips for parents

Supporting your teen through Year 12 without burning out.

This time of year can be stressful for both you and your teen.

In the lead-up to exams, parents and carers wear many hats. Whether you’re acting as a proofreader, personal chef, cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on, you’ll be there to support them through it all.

But who’s caring for the carer? Here are some tips to help you cope with the demands of the final weeks of Year 12.

Surviving Year 12 as a parent: How to look after yourself too

Schedule some time for yourself

Carve out some time every day to do something for yourself. Make a list of things that fill your cup so you have ideas to draw on throughout the week. Brew yourself a cup of tea and sit down with a good book, take yourself for a walk and listen to your favourite music or podcast, or phone a friend for a catch-up. At the moment, I’m currently enjoying making my own earrings – it’s a quick craft and allows me to be creative. Consider activities that actively encourage you to relax, such as yoga, meditation or deep breathing exercises.

Taking 30 minutes out of your day might seem daunting for some, but scheduling regular ‘me time’ will help you manage your stress levels. You might start small with 10 minutes as you get used to this practice.

It’s also important to schedule ‘we’ time with your teen, too. Enjoy a family games night, watch a movie together or go out for a coffee date. Doing so can encourage them to switch off and take a much-needed break from study.

Plan your week – including your meals!

Planning your week in advance can lower your stress by reducing your mental load and stopping you from feeling overwhelmed. It can also help you carve out more free time for the all-important ‘me’ and ‘we’ time.

In the lead-up to and during exam periods, consider planning your week around your teen’s study schedule. If your teen doesn’t have a study schedule, support them to create one. You might be tempted to put together a schedule for them, but this is a good opportunity for them to practise important problem-solving skills. Your teen will know what study style works best for them. They’ll also be more likely to stick to it if they make their own decisions about how they spend their time.

Make meal prep an important part of your weekly planning. ‘Future You’ will thank you if you bulk cook and freeze dinners. Prep food that will nourish your teen and that you know they’ll enjoy. Stock up on snacks and ‘quick fix’ dinners for when you’re too busy for the usual ‘what’s for dinner?’ dilemma.

Planning your week can help reduce your stress, but keep in mind that life doesn’t always go to plan. Be open to changes to the weekly plan and your teen’s study schedule. Taking a flexible approach can ease the pressure.

Lean into your support network

We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It must’ve been in reference to Year 12 exams. This is the time to lean on your extended family and friends for help. It’s ok to ask for help, whether it’s asking your teen’s grandparents to help with school pickup or seeing if any of your friends would be happy to help you with meal prep. Everyone needs some extra support sometimes. Your friends and family would likely be happy to help if you asked.

Prioritise your sleep

It’s no secret – sleep has a big impact on your mental health and wellbeing. But getting a good night’s rest during periods of stress is even more important. Managing stress can become harder when you’re tired. For your teen, a lack of sleep can also negatively impact their performance in exams.

If you’re struggling to get your eight hours of shut-eye, the following tips might help:

• Create a relaxing bedtime wind-down routine.
• Aim to get up and go to bed at the same time every day.
• Reduce your caffeine and alcohol intake.
• Skip the screens before bed.
• Make your very own sleep sanctuary.

While your teen’s mental health and wellbeing will be a priority for you at this time, it’s important to remember you can’t pour from an empty cup. Looking after your own mental and physical health will help you feel better equipped to support your teen, keep your cool, and manage your stress in the lead-up to exams.

For tips on how to support your team with exam stress, check out ReachOut’s exam stress guide for parents and carers.

Linda Williams is a Senior Psychologist and Clinical Lead at Australia’s leading digital youth mental health service, ReachOut.