I'm devastated…

I've lost my nightly cuddles.

For the past two years, part of Ethan's nightly bedtime routine has been to read a bedtime book in the lounge room, kiss Dad good night and then retire to the bedroom for a one-on-mum cuddle on the chair in his room before heading off to bed in a drowsy, pre-slumber state. This week though, he's decided to skip the cuddle and climb straight into the bed.

Now, I know that I should be ecstatic that my two-year-old is happy to head off to bed, so long as mum promises to "pat [him] on the bum" as he falls asleep playing with his toy puppy Scout, but there's a little part of me that's feeling just a little heartbroken (and to be honest, rejected).

I know that there are still plenty of cuddles to be dished out… and he's been making up for it by randomly running up to wrap himself around my legs, or to ask for a "tiss" while play outside, but that was our special time – even if it was just five minutes of he and mum, sitting in a darkened room all by ourselves.

How will I be when he finally decides that he doesn't want mum to tuck him into bed? Or when he moves out of home and into the world on his own (although, by that stage he will have progressed through the teenage years and I'll probably be throwing him a Bon Voyage party and helping him look for rentals on the weekend).

In the meantime though, I guess I'll just have to get my cuddle-fill whenever else I can…

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