Motherhood, sex and a lower libido: 40% of mums say their sex life has suffered
Let’s talk about sex and our lower libido – because so many of us aren’t.
When you’re a new mum, intimacy can feel like the last thing on your mind – and as it turns out, you’re far from alone.
New research from sexual wellness brand Lovehoney reveals that 69% of Aussie mums rate their libido as low, and 40% say their sex lives have worsened after having children.
This Mother’s Day, Lovehoney is launching The Mama Sutra – a free eBook designed to help mums feel seen, supported, and empowered in their journey back to pleasure.
Because while motherhood changes everything – your body, identity, energy – intimacy and connection don’t have to disappear altogether.
Why don’t we talk about our lower libido?
Motherhood transforms every part of life – including intimacy. Yet conversations about postpartum sex remain rare, often hidden behind stigma or silence.
Lovehoney’s new research sheds light on just how common these challenges are:
A snapshot of Aussie Mums and sex:
- 69% of Aussie mums rate their libido as low
- 40% say their sex life has worsened since having children
- 42% of mums didn’t engage in any self-pleasure in the year after giving birth
- 26% say a drop in body confidence is a major barrier to sex
- 17% of mums report having better sex after birth
- 37% are having the same or more sex post-baby
There’s no such thing as a “normal” sex life after becoming a parent – and that’s perfectly okay.
Why the silence?
There are many reasons why sex can take a back seat in the early years of parenting:
- Hormonal changes: Estrogen levels drop after childbirth, often leading to vaginal dryness and lower desire.
- Physical recovery: Healing from birth—vaginal or cesarean—can make sex uncomfortable or painful.
- Emotional exhaustion: Sleep deprivation, stress, and constant caregiving leave little energy for intimacy.
- Body image: Many women report lower body confidence, which can directly affect libido.
Low libido was the most common reason for less sex post-baby, cited by more than a third (35%) of mums. One in four also pointed to changes in body confidence. Others described feeling “touched out” or simply too drained to even consider sex.
Real stories from real mums
Jaci Rogash, a mother of two, understands how the emotional toll can affect intimacy. “We struggled to conceive, so the joy of sex and intimacy became a robotic transaction that had to happen on certain days of the month, and then once I finished ovulating I was over it. Pregnancy was hard and I was in pain most of the time and my libido went on a holiday and so did my desire to be touched.”
Cheryl Fagan, founder of the On Top sexual wellness platform and mum to an 18-month-old, shares, “Motherhood flipped my world – including my relationship with my body, my libido, and how I thought about sex. I’ve learned that rediscovering intimacy doesn’t have to look one way. The Mama Sutra is about removing shame, tuning into yourself, and finding connection on your own terms.”
Motherhood and pleasure can coexist
The Mama Sutra is here to spark honest conversations, offer permission, and maybe even reignite a little spark—whatever that looks like for you.
Lovehoney sexologist Christine Rafe explains: “Your sexual wellness doesn’t disappear when you become a parent – it just shifts. And that’s okay. Too many mums think something’s wrong with them for not ‘bouncing back’ sexually, but the truth is, it’s more common than not. We created The Mama Sutra to start these conversations with honesty, compassion, and no pressure.”
