Ask the village: “Is there a way to emotionally prepare for parenthood?”
A soon-to-be parent has come to the #AskTheVillage community looking for advice on how they can best "emotionally prepare" for the new road ahead.
The nursery colours have been chosen, you’ve purchased the pram and the monitor, there are drawers full of sweet smelling onesies and teeny tiny little socks … but how do you emotionally prepare for the journey ahead?
That’s the exact question one soon-to-be parent put to our #AskTheVillage community recently when they looked for advice on how they could prepare themselves for the parenting road ahead of them.
“How do I prepare for what’s ahead? Is it even possible?”
“I’m not actually a parent yet, but am expecting my first in the new year, YAY!” they began before explaining that their reason for reaching out was because they were a “type A planner”.
“So a few of my friends have babies already and when I’m around them it’s like they’ve been hit by a truck. I understand life changes a lot with a baby, but I don’t want to feel like that,” the concerned parent-to-be explained.
“I’m prepared in as much as I’ve got all the stuff, and I’m doing all the classes … but is there a way to emotionally prepare for what is ahead? Do new mums get offended if you ask them lots of questions? How do I prepare for what’s ahead? Is it even possible?”
Finding healthy ways to deal with tiredness, conflict, and worries in the early days of parenting is important not only for you, but your baby too.
As a new parent it is perfectly normal to be feeling fragile, uncertain and confused as you settle into your new life with a baby. All things that the poster’s friends may have been experiencing.
However those feelings need not overwhelm the entire experience. Having positive parenting strategies right from the start not only helps you, but your baby too.
The #AskTheVillage community agree with this sentiment, offering their sage words of wisdom for the curious expecting parent.
“Be prepared to feel ALL the emotions,” advised one commenter. “You can be overwhelmed with happiness to be a new parent as well as feeling exhausted, frustrated, guilty and sad. And remember, feeling this way doesn’t mean that you’re a ‘bad’ parent or that you don’t love your baby.”
Another suggested that entering the experience with “no expectations” was a way to help land gently into this new world. “The people you know that seem like they’ve been hit by a truck are the ones that had expectations that have never been met,” they said. “Just roll with it and you can’t get disappointed.”
One seasoned parent suggested that the poster should “Buckle up, and enjoy the ride!” as for them, there was no way that they could have prepared. “The days are long and exhausting at times, and the kids will test your limits, but there is absolutely nothing like the love you feel for your kids.”
“Trust your instincts” was the advice from one commenter, who wrote “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially from your loved ones who would most likely jump on the opportunity for baby cuddles whilst you go and wash your hair – it’s a win-win situation! Also know that all babies are different and some opinions given to you from other parents might not suit you and your baby – take those with a grain of salt! At the end of the day, YOU will know your baby best.”
“Can we ever be prepared for parenthood?” asked another. “The first few months are a bit of a blur and every new mum needs to find their own rhythm… I always loved the ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ advice, well you are so tired you will fall asleep any chance you get… Just be kind to yourself and cherish the special moments and take your time learning and growing into your new role.”
Why is emotionally adjusting to being a parent important?
It is important to remember that there’s no such thing as the perfect parent, and everyone has good and bad days.
The experts from Triple P – Positive Parenting Program say that it takes some emotional adjustment to move into your new role as a parent.
“You have new responsibilities, new routines, and even physical challenges. You may also find you become more aware of your own childhood experiences.”
Finding healthy ways to deal with tiredness, conflict, and worries in the early days of parenting is important not only for you, but your baby too.
“Babies are sensitive to what’s going on around them, and a positive environment helps their development,” advises the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program. “Learning to manage a wide range of feelings will also help you to be a good emotional role model for your child as they grow. This includes feeling confident about your parenting knowledge and skills”.
“Babies are sensitive to what’s going on around them, and a positive environment helps their development.”
Delivery of the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program system includes the following online programs
Triple P Online for Baby
for parents/carers to be or with a baby under 12 months old
Triple P Online
for parents/carers of children under 12
Fear-Less Triple P Online
for parents/carers of children (6+)
Parents and carers can sign up now FREE and get positive parenting strategies at: www.triplep-parenting.net.au
Delivery of the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program® to parents and carers of children in Australia is supported by funding from the Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care under the Parenting Education and Support Program.
