Why 60% of Aussie parents say parenthood isn’t what they expected
Mum-of-three and podcast host Sophie Pearce knows all about modern parenting demands.
The reality of parenthood often falls short of expectations for many parents. In fact new research from Bugaboo has found that 60% of Aussie parents are discovering that parenthood isn’t quite what they imagined.
Many are wishing they’d saved more money (56%) or started their families sooner (38%) and with the reality of both parents working full-time, 45% are frustrated by only being able to spend an hour or two a day with their kids.
Someone who knows all about the demands of modern parenting is mum-of-three and host of the podcast Beyond the Bump, Sophie Pearce.
Bounty Parents chatted to Sophie about the ups and downs of modern parenthood and handling the juggle of work, life and kids.
What are some common parenting patterns you’ve noticed among Aussie mums?
I feel like there is a general trend for having kids later and really planning out how this looks around a career, childcare, returning to work, etc. This often (I feel) relies a lot on other family members such as grandparents where possible chipping in and helping out. I feel that due to the cost of living, people in general (or at least those around me!) are being less spontaneous when it comes to family planning.
How do these concerns influence decisions around family planning and having children?
I think the patterns of parenting concerns that come up time and time again in parents around me “in the real world” and through the work I do on Beyond the Bump podcast and online is definitely the current cost of living and the lack of village that there is now when it comes to parenting and raising kids! It never feels like the right time to start or grow a family, and this constantly comes up in conversation.
What are some of the most frequent topics of discussion or worry in your online parenting community?
Oh gosh, how to choose! One topic that comes up time and time again is around the juggle! Life feels busier than ever and parents seem to be feeling stretched for time, energy and resources. I think that can be seen in a recent survey that Bugaboo did that found that 62% of Australian parents feel they are struggling to spend quality time with their kids. I know myself I often feel like I’m doing it all by halves and it’s such a rubbish way to feel when you don’t feel like you’re nailing anything.
As I mentioned earlier, a huge worry for parents is the cost of living. The worry of going down to a single income, needing to return to work earlier than expected, the worry of whether or not this will cover childcare costs and all the other expenses that come with having kids.
What have been some of the biggest surprises about the realities of parenthood for you?
One thing that always seems to shock me is that once you get comfortable in a stage, you will be thrown a new curveball. For example, I was excited to be coming out of the toddler years with my middle child but since turning four she has been more challenging than ever with emotional regulation and constant negotiations.
Or now my youngest has started actually sleeping I thought I would feel less exhausted but instead she’s running around and I am definitely not more rested!
But with every challenge that comes with every new stage there is also so much beautiful newness too!
How do you balance the demands of work, household responsibilities, and parenting?
I feel this is constantly shifting and changing with the girls’ ages and our work demands. Both of our parents are interstate so we unfortunately have no grandparents around to regularly help look after our kids so we have had to (and been in an extremely privileged position that we’ve been able to) hire and employ a village around us.
The recent research by Bugaboo shows that actually in 2024 only 1 in 5 Aussie Mums take care of their children full time. There’s definitely no way I’d be able to be a full time Mum and also produce the weekly podcast and all the behind the scenes work that goes with it!
I found it so interesting that the survey showed only 5% of Dads are full time carers too, which makes me feel so fortunate that Nick and I share a lot of the workload.
My husband and I also take it in turns each night who is in charge of bedtime so we get a break from that and we have one evening off per week completely (for example Nick gets Wednesday nights and I get Thursday nights) where we can head off without any responsibilities and do whatever we want! I feel this keeps us feeling somewhat fresh, cup filled and ready to tackle the next day.
What advice would you give to new parents about making the most of their time with their children?
I try my absolutely hardest to be fully present with my kids when I’m with them. This means that I set boundaries around contact hours with work (I do run my own business so I am able to set these rules) so that when I’m with the kids my phone isn’t going off for other things, and I try to be fully focused on work with my kids in care when I am working.
I also am the first to admit that I don’t enjoy “playing” as such, I’m not a sit cross legged on the ground doing make believe play kind of mum. But I love being out and about doing activities or running around outside so if we are doing that I am way more likely to be spending quality time with them.
How important is it to have a community around you to ask for parenting advice?
So important! I’ve relied on mothers’ groups and online resources from parenting experts and paediatricians, as well as recommendations from friends at the park. For both big things and small, everything from knowing what to do the first time your child is sick to when to update your pram for your growing family. We’ve recently upgraded to the Bugaboo Donkey to fit all three girls (and all their stuff), and it’s something I always recommend to my friends and people who reach out on social media.
