Forget DUIs – it’s Sleep Deprivation Intoxication that sometimes has us steering off the parenting path and into a total lack-of-sleep delirium.
While lack of Zzzs can be a very serious health issue for any parent, sometimes, it can also be cathartic to unleash on the world the ridiculous tricks your mind plays on you after, say, three hours' sleep in three days.
This is why, on World Sleep Day, we are celebrating those did-that-just-happen motherhood moments from real mums that call for nothing but laughter. Because, let’s be honest: we’ve all been this close to crying when we’ve sprayed deodorant in our hair and dry shampoo under our arms…
The truth(s) about being an up-all-night mum…
1. "I went for a swim with half my clothes on, not realising until after the swim. And I didn't have a top to wear to the car…"
2. "I put what I thought was lip balm on my lips, instantly thinking, 'That lip balm tasted so weird.' Yep, it was nipple balm."
3. "I put ground coriander on my porridge instead of cinnamon."
4. "I was so tired I thought I had pulled out a baby wipe to wipe a pooey bum but turns out I didn't and well, you can guess the rest…"
5. "I sometimes rock my trolley to sleep while waiting in line at the supermarket."
6. "I wore my tights back to front when dropping my son off at preschool, only for his teacher to point it out."
7. "I was one second from using haemorrhoid cream as tooth paste. So close I can't believe it didn't happen. At least I don't think it did…"
8. "I left the hand brake off and my car in neutral at the shops, and came back to find a note from security informing me that my car had rolled into the car behind and blocked traffic."
9. "I called the groomer, apologising profusely for forgetting to pick up my dog. My dog was sitting at my feet as I rang and apologised."
If you are struggling with sleep deprivation and would like to talk to someone about it, visit Reach Out's website.